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heres my friday five!! finally on the right day! first time i think!~~~

1. What was your first job? i worked at bloomingdales when i was 15... then bloomies sold the building to kmart... and all of the bloomies employees became kmart employees. ugh. i worked there till i was out of high school... oh well...

2. How old were you when you had your first kiss? i was 14 1/2 and the boy whose family owned the summer home up the dirt road from my family's summer home kissed me. i was playing manhunt late at night with all of my cousins and sean (my first kiss boy) and his brothers and sean and i were hiding under a pine tree and he just turned and swallowed my face! i was taken aback for sure... i didnt kiss another boy till the following summer! hehe.

3. What was your first car? What happened to it? my first and only car was a baby blue 1990 ford tempo. my grandpa gave it to me for free and it survived winters up at school and drove me around in nyc during the summers. my last winter up at school it proved too tempermental and i had to get rid of it... that was about a year ago... to date, i am still sans vehicle. thank goodness for the nyc subway system or id never get out of the house...

4. What was your first concert? new order. i was 14 and my mom took me with 2 of my older cousin. it was a great show... it totally shook up my life from that point... music has and will always be very important to me.

5. How do you plan to spend your weekend? tonight i have 101 things to do! i hope i make it to everything... erik is playing hockey... saturday, we agreed to stay in bed as long as we can take it and get up and make pancakes (hopefully around 4pm)... then we are going to jump on the train and head into the city and go see a few local bands play... then maybe get some mexican at a yummy place downtown... then meet a few friends for a drink then go home and sleeeeeeep some more. sunday we are going to the mall to return the unwanted xmas gifts that we have been neglecting for almost a month now.... fun fun fun!

...

my hair is all static-y today. and i forgot my new earrings and my watch on eriks night table. and erik and i fought on the way to work and i'm still all stressed about it because as great as he is, hes just useless sometimes. and that bothers me. if im considering spending the rest of my life with someone... shouldnt said person be easy to talk to, and easy to stomach, and just plain easy to be around in general?? isnt a relationship 3 years in the making supposed to be freaking EASY?!? why is every little thing so difficult lately? when will this little life of mine become nicer... hohum.

i got to work late (as usual)-- and i passed gwen in the hallway... and even on her worst days, she always looks so put together. and today it annoys me for some reason... because we are at the same points in our lives pretty much and ive come to the realization that this is who i am. i am a mess. i'm weird. i'm a bit *quirky* and *gawky*-- or so ive been told. im too tall for most people. i don't pull off *girly things* very well-- little frou frou dresses and high heels... even though mentally i really AM girly and i do my best to expose that. i can be fun though, im learning to take people for who they are. i'm genuine. i spill food all over myself every time im in an expensive restaurant. i like to laugh. i work hard most of the time. i drink too much diet soda. i spend more money then i make. i have a cute boyfriend, a crappy car and a reoccuring headache. and i am me. i guess, its not so bad.

sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepy...

happy turkey day!! i feel like im looking down the barrel of a gun right now... i just have to go put on my shoes and im all set to visit ellen and her jewish 3 ring circus of a family. ughughugh. she sucks. i hope she doesnt break the sink in half or set the oven on fire this year (yes, both of those things happened last year)... i still dont know why my uncle married her. shes a lost cause. anyway... i cant wait to eat my aunt pias cheesecake. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. enjoy your day everyone! xxoo

I copied this idea from kathy, heather and heather---> the song lyric survey (answer all questions with song lyrics and their reference... so much fun!!! but it took me soooooooooo long to do.)

Are you male or female?



Who are you?




Describe your neighborhood:

*they are crowded into the smallest spaces
while outside all of nature cries
its known to be cruel and unfair
there is no place to hide in here
oh Ive seen a part of people that I never really want to share
oh Ive seen a part of people that I never even knew was there*

(*shelter*, sarah mclachlan)

How do you look?



If you could say one thing to the person you love what would it be?

*i place my hand upon my heart
to hear it beat your name
over and over and over...*

(**, inside)

*And when darknesss lifts and the room is bright
I'll still be by your side
For you are all that matters
And I'll love you to till the day I die*

(*the hand that rocks the cradle*, the smiths )



Where do you wish you were right now?



What do you think about your best friend?:

*and when the world blows up
I'll hold your hand
and when the big bomb drops
I'll hold your hand
because you know, i think you rock*

(*this afteroon's malady*, jejune)


Any words of advice?


What do you wish you were doing right now?



What do you think about drugs and alcohol?

*its never enough until your heart stops beating*

(**, new order)


If you could say one thing to your enemy what would it be?

*who the fuck needs a caricature to be their friend?
it's so fucking stupid. i'm just as scared and insecure as you (maybe even x2).
and i wonder what you really thought of me. an intimate friend? a loud-mouth jerk or just a novelty?
this is not an apology, just therapy, because as we all know (and apparently), i don't need anybody.*

(*utter crap song*, propaghandi)


What would you do if you won a million dollars?

*and so we land,
only to find we never really left the ground.
please leave,
the walls and floors exactly as you found.
to everyone i know,
with arms wide open,
shouting here we go.*

(hum)

Any closing words?

this is so cool... check out colorgenics. here is my profile:

You are so adamant at this time you are not willing to concede to anything. You are dictatorial with your own ideas and the way you are feeling at this time there is little that anyone can do to make you change your mind, or to be able to persuade you to make concessions or to accept any compromise.

You seem to lack the energy of late to get up and go .. Your objectives appear to be unattainable and no one seems to care. You feel lost, neglected and need some W.T.C. (Warm tender care).

Nothing seems to be going right for you, and you are thwarted every way you turn. You are not at all happy with the situation but it would appear that there is very little that you can do about it at this time...Sit back...let the situation take its course, because at this time you feel that there is nothing you can do to change whatever needs to be changed.

Your stress and anxiety are a result of an emotional disappointment. It could well be that the emotional relationship is no longer running smoothly ... and you have come to the end of your tether. On the one hand you would like to free yourself from this relationship altogether,yet, on the other hand you don't want to lose anything nor risk the uncertainty of throwing away something ... something that's precious, something that could be the "Real Thing" Perhaps for the first time in your life you really don't know which way to go - and it is these contradictory emotions that are causing you the untold stress. You are pretending to the world that you don't care but even this air of pretence is causing you much heartache.

At this time you don't particularly like yourself. Everything that you have tried to do seems to have gone wrong. This makes you feel that there is no point in trying to start again. Apart from being stressed and tense, you are angry with yourself and have unadmitted self-contempt. Your refusal to admit that you and you alone is the basic cause of your problems, and this leads to you adopting a headstrong and defiant attitude. If you take stock of yourself.... smile a little.. and let go ... everything will turn out OK. Have you not heard of the cliche..Smile and the World smiles with you - Cry and you cry alone!

scary... my grandpa always says something along the lines of *when you party, you party with everyone, but when you cry, you cry alone*. weird, huh?

ok, back from lunch and snack... and basically on the W train the other night... some creepy guy felt me up and i broke his nose!! damn, im a brute. ugh. more later....

heres my first friday five... how cool... i like this webloggy thing, even if nobody reads it but rachel and i. hehe.

1. Name five things in your refrigerator: cartons of oj & milk, jarlsberg cheese, cherry jello, big jar of nutella and some weird berry preserves erik's mom brought us from norway (so yummy).

2. Name five things in your freezer: chicken cutlets, pork chops, steaks, cherry and lemon italian ices (erik and i cant ever agree on a flavor :P), ben & jerry's choc. chip cookie dough frozen yogurt (mm mmm good).

3. Name five things under your kitchen sink: a garbage can, a recycling can, cleaning stuff, those silly octagonal shaped bug traps & unopened sponges.

4. Name five things around your computer: scanner, telephone, paperclips, pens & binders full of nonsense (im at work right now)

5. How do you plan to spend your weekend? i think im going to go out to dinner after work then on to *barmacy* for a few drinks (and maybe meet gwen and her roomies) then to a party in williamsburg later on... it should be fun. i hope. if it sucks, im cutting out early and going to sleep. ive been such a bum lately. tomorrow im going to a day spa with my mom, my grandma,my aunt and my cousin... then tomorrow night, all of my younger cousins are getting together for dinner and then heading to a place called *kush*. its some loungy arabian bar club place. we are such a tight knit bunch, i love that :). sunday im heading to a BRITNEY SPEARS party. its a potluck girls only deal, and the girl who is hosting it is the coolest ever... so it should be, umm, interesting. im not a britney fan, but it still should be funny. so thats it. thats my weekend plan in short... have a good one, all!!

oh and, ill write about my yucky past couple of days after i get back from lunch... promise promise promise.

UGH... i havent made time to write in here in a couple of days... mostly because work has been totally stifling. sooo much to do. eww. ok. anyway, i had a few weird things happen over the past few days... one involving a creepy molester on the train... ill be sure to go over them soon. i just. have to. run. i have a 12 noon meeting. yuck yuck yuck.

today is a yucky friday. i cant wait for this week to end :/